So, when I set up that impromptu "Wish D-Rock a Happy Birthday" thing? I kind of didn't remember that she would have to stay up until midnight counting tweets. So, I have no idea if we made our goal or not. And since I want to go to bed...
Here's THE BOSS, chapter one, a day early.
Wow. This already puts E L James to shame. You really show her how it should be done. What a way to finish a chapter...
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, there were a couple of paragraphs I found I had to go back and re-read to get the sense of what you were saying, but I've not read your work before now, other than the blog, and it's a case of adjusting to your style, I think.
I can't wait to see chapter 2, and I'll be downloading some more of your work from Amazon as well.
Andrea in New Zealand.
That was excellent. I can tell I'm already going to be a fan of Sophie. So welcome to see a heroine who isn't afraid of her sexuality (and who owns a vibrator).
ReplyDeleteExcited to read the rest!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Im eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any of the accounts required to comment on the Boss site so replying here. I hope that's ok.
ReplyDeleteI thought that was a great first chapter and I will find it hard to wait a fortnight each time for the next chapter. Count me in as another Sophie fan. Holli too so far
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteMore, please! :D
ReplyDeleteYes, more!
ReplyDeleteI was really leaning in against the computer screen, my eyes nearly burning and then shouted "NO" when I realised I had come to the end. Can't wait for the next chapter, this is gonna be awesome!
This is a ton of fun! I can't wait for the next installment.
ReplyDeleteI just finished the chapter. I really enjoyed it, and I think I'm going to enjoy the rest of the story as well. Sophie's job in the beginning reminded me a lot of The Devil Wears Prada (both the book and movie versions).
ReplyDeleteMy favorite parts were Sophie's interactions with Holli, how Sophie acknowledges her as beautiful but doesn't harp on it or immediately follow it up with a "I'm sooooo ugly!" but also has a playful-but-not-mean-spirited kind of attitude about it (really liked the "Holli's face is like, ninety-five percent eyeball" line) and takes philosophy lessons of a sort from Holli (instead of just clothes and free rent).
I'm intrigued about Neil, about how they're going to interact. Their first (second) meeting had a lot of good tension. Sophie couldn't get a handle on him. I'm guessing something is going to be made of the fact that he's exactly twice as old as her now. (I did my math right, right?) Can't wait for the next chapter!
I recall placing him at 48 cuz I think he was 42 when they first met six years ago. 42 + 18- who is going to/running from collage?
DeleteI like that Sophie's narration over lapped and missed what Neil was saying when he was introducing himself/telling her what is going on. If she had been listing she would have picked up that she wasn't fired and most likely would stay on till a replacement is trained and then moved up a position (or at least, that's what got out of the exchange) saving her the worry about her job.
I could pick at the exchange and say it could have been better in some parts like better body language and it being more clear that he was telling her in a professional manner that it was not the end of her world but I’m the reader who can easily nitpick these things and not the writer who has to think while writing these things.
I like that Neil is realistically older- in that he has the experience, maturity and successes that one would normally get after being in the business for several years instead of just getting into it at age 20 something.
I like Sophie is realistically younger, placed in her job and she’s actually working her job and has to ladder climb like everyone else. Also the friend interaction is actual friend interaction of two roommates who can depend on each other for advice and support. And Holi is not a model snob who is not above little things like eating (cuz I am assuming that she’s not going to be throwing up that lumberjack breakfast and three side pancakes on the side) and finding less glamorous work if the glamorous work won’t pay her bills.
Not sure on the interaction when Sophie drops off the bagels and Neil says thank you while talking on the phone but I’m not sure what threw me off. If it was the adjusting to writing style, the fact that there is no stupid DRAMA , or that everything was plausible possible or Sophie’s stressed narration as she deals with her world falling apart (she did note that she would not be handling this well so all things considered she’s doing a fair job of keeping herself together) was getting to me.
All said and done- I’m hooked .
Anon, if you want someone to dislike, I think you'll be happy with Rudy, the eye-roller.
DeleteSorry, I meant that to be addressed to hickumu.
DeleteHee! Yes, I dislike Rudy the eye-roller very much. It is a nice little balance to my worldview. I can't deal with this freaky thing of sympathizing with both main characters >_> . But Rudy can just go pound sand.
DeleteOh my god, please tell me Holli is going to stick around. Please tell me she and Sophie stay yin-yang buddies. Please tell me we're going to see more Bechdel test passing.
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing and wonderful start, but I'm afraid to hope. I've been hurt too many times before ;~; .
I love Neil, mostly how...professional and not an asshole he was. I kept waiting for him to do something I'd want to smack him for, but he didn't! Even stealing Sophie's plane ticket, I could see the validity there. If you have to buy your ticket with your "emergency credit card", you are not ready to leave the country for god knows what at eighteen years old.
OMG, I NEED MORE.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
Really enjoyed this - I'm hooked already!
ReplyDeleteI was drawn in right from the first line. Sophie is an engaging protagonist, realistic and easy to relate to, while still feeling refreshing and interesting. As others have said, I enjoyed her relationship with Holli; it was lovely to see female friendship that doesn't feel catty. I also loved Sophie's (and Holli's) positive view of sex - there was no "slut-shaming" or anything going on, which was also refreshing.
The storytelling is wonderful. There are great, sensate details that drew me in and wrapped me up into the story, and made for a very rich, satisfying read. The only disappointment was that the chapter ended and I have to wait for the next one!
The age difference between Neil and Sophie caught me off-guard at first, but it makes sense, given the differences in their professional levels. We didn't see much of him, but I'm intrigued about his story already, and am waiting for to the next chapter with bated breath.
Fantastic work! And for free! You spoil us...
~Lauren
Really intriguing! After reading all the Grey books it shocked me to read about a woman who seems like an actual person, not some caricature of one. Can't wait for chapter 2!!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! This is going to be so much fun!! You deserve fame, which is presumably part of the point - and hopefully fortune will follow too!!!
ReplyDeleteSoooo, when do we get chapter 2? Because that was fabulous and I'm not sure how long I can wait. I'll admit I was so turned off of the whole 50 shades concept I wasn't even certain I wanted to read a good version, even if it was written by you. I love being pleasantly surprised :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis was so much fun to read!
ReplyDeleteAfter I read the last line I literally said "Bum bum bummm" before I busted out laughing.
I'm going to love this!
Hey, that was great, very tight and effective writing! I will so pick up the finished book:).
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I'm sometimes thrown off by is the internal logic. At some places this is caused by the order in which you show things to the reader, at other places it seems like we just miss a crucial bit of information for things to fall into place for us. Like when she calls up Jake and says 'Everyone is acting weird', but all I've seen so far is her waiting on her 20-minutes-late boss and noticing that her boss' voicemail inbox is full (I've not 'seen' anybody act weird).
Another point I was momentarily confused is where first she 'nods off' while Neil explains what he is doing there; then later she knows she's going to work for him - as if she was listening all along.
Sorry if this sounds nitpicky. I'm a writing coach and I couldn't resist and I thought maybe if this is a beta version these points could still be of use to you and I mean well:).
Anyway I totally meant it when I said great writing overall! And I kind of can't wait for the...uh...action scenes;).
Wheres chapter 2?? I need chapter 2!!!
ReplyDelete