My son brought his yearbook home yesterday. I may or may not have blogged before about how ridiculous it seems to me that when my kid is in the nursing home, he'll be surrounded by Dakotas and Jaydens. And like, when I'm in the nursing home, I'll probably accuse some orderly named Montana of stealing my lipstick. But as I'm looking through these children's smiling faces and matching up the Souixzhans and the Hunters, I'm starting to think that elementary school yearbooks are underappreciated resources for romance writers. So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Romance Novel Character Class of 2022:
If you are writing a contemporary romance about baseball players, might I suggest:
Brooklyn, Auston (not a typo)
Stryker, Gunner
If you're looking for a new twist on an old favorite, how about:
Mica, Abbygale,
Aryanna (I really hope the occurrence of "Aryan" in this one was unintentional)
Mariea, Mekenna, Kamrynn,
Kasssandra, Alexxis, Madylin,
Shayann, Jaiyde, Mersaydies,
Jazzmine, Karter, Madysen,
Elyzabeth, Kersten, Nickolice,
Alekzander,
If you've just created a series about an impossibly large family of brothers, each hotter than the last, you might try:
Colton, Tanner, Ashton,
Brentin,Trenton, Dalton,
Karter, Landon, Caeden
Writing a historical romance set in the old west?
Montana, Cheyenne,
Dakota (There are two Dakotas in one class),
Dawson, Holden, Ezrian,
Of course, paranormal, fantasy, and scifi authors need their names, too:
Azlan, Tayah, Terri'aun,
Ameia, Rylie, Genel,
Therin, Tylar, Takaycee,
SiSi, Zarek, Rainen,
Kitara, Tehya, Kiau,
Coyana, Keghan, Deikon
Kaidyn, Emale, Thor,
Taygon,
Velour historicals, I have not forgotten you:
Azaria, O'Shea (That's a first name, folks)
Alainna, Teaghan, Tristren,
Ciara, Bram, Justus,
Adrionna, Trystan, Katryna
Lilyana
I don't know why i didn't think of this before. I agonize over finding the right name, that hasn't been over-used (okay, so Dakota and Colton are way, way overused) and all I needed to do was pick up my kid's yearbook. Of course, in years past it wouldn't have worked. He went to a Catholic school, so all the girls were named Mary and the boys were all Joseph.
Wait, that's an option for character names. Saints! Why haven't we seen a handsome were-panther named Ethelbert yet?
Sick. I'm supposed to teach kids with names like those? Do I still have to do attendance?
ReplyDeleteMy word, there are a lot of bogans in the US. But there are a lot of bogans in Oz, too. Here's a list of what bogans are naming their bogan children nowadays: http://thingsboganslike.wordpress.com/a-bogue-by-any-other-name/
ReplyDeleteI've often thought people name their kids like this because they aren't clever enough for a customized license plate.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Esmerelda?
ReplyDeleteThat's a wonderful name for a baseball player! hahaha!
where i work, there is a kid whose first name is DocHoliday. Yeah, all one word. we keep a list of unusual names. Dude (yes that is a name), Tomeajoy, Princess, Precious, twins--Pride and Joy, Clifadena
ReplyDeleteand on it goes. I am all for unique...oh yeah there was a Unique and a Tigress. my thought is, if you name your innocent new daughter Tigress can she grow up to be anything other than a pole dancer in vegas??
I was flipping through my son's yearbook just today and came across a kid named Cullen and all I could think was, poor bastard.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so here's what I think. I seriously think that these people just did not learn how to spell and sound things out when they were in school. I guess it's a toss up of can we blame educators from that time frame or parents? I am sick to death of ridiculously spelled names. I have a friend whose daughter's middle name is Alyzabeth. Ugh ugh ugh!
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing Bron did - looked through my daughter's yearbook - I saw no Cullen's or Edwards, but there was a Jacob, a large number of Sophia's, and a Novaley.
ReplyDeleteI once met a little girl named La-a. The "dash" isn't silent.
ReplyDeleteOh, and an albino boy named Wynter Snowe. And let's not forget PrinceIsaiah; yes, one word, multiple capital letters.
The best one is probably from when I was in high school, class of 2005. I graduated with Krystal Shanda Leare.