Jen Reads 50 Shades of Grey:
- Chapter 1: Ana is the shittiest friend ever.
- Chapter 2: Shopping for a serial killer's birthday
- Chapter 3: Bike accidents get me squirrely in the pants.
- Chapter 4: Everybody wants Ana even though she's terrible
- Chapter 5: Ian Sommerhalder, what are you doing?!
- Chapter 6: Up, up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful helicopter and sex dungeon
- Chapter 7: I wish the whole book was as short as this chapter
- Chapter 8: This one time, I fucked a girl so hard she turned into a pirate
- Chapter 9: Back like a mysterious rash
- Chapter 10: Hot and cold running dick
- Chapter 11: Sign here. And here. Initial here. Are you getting hot yet?
- Chapter 12: Untitled, full of Wonka
- Chapter 13: That one time when Jen started drinking at seven in the morning to get through a recap
- Chapter 14: I'm pretty sure I've read this book before, but with vampires in it.
- Chapter 15: I'm halfway done!
- Chapter 16: Shit just got real
- Chapter 17: Night of the moth
- Chapter 18: "Fifty Shades of Fucked Up"
- Chapter 19: Now with 100% more television references
- Chapter 20: "Behind the boathouse/I'll show you my dark secret"
- Chapter 21: She's leaving on a first-class flight to Georgia
- Chapter 22: Mrs. Robinson on my mind
- Chapter 23: Red dawn
- Chapter 24: Hipster Beethoven
- Chapter 25: DTF
- Chapter 26: I'm a survivor, I did not give up, I did not stop, I'm gonna drink now
In case you missed the running theme of the book, you can read my post on Fifty Shades of Grey and Abusive Relationships right there.
Do you want to read the controversy parts? Because there was controversy. If so, they're also archived here:
- Wherein I respond to the Good Reads goon squad and the moral fury they feigned to sell more of Jamie McGuire's books (Y'all thought I didn't know about that?)
- Wherein I defend myself against allegations of identity theft and deny the existence of time machines
- Wherein I decide that haters can go fuck themselves.
- Wherein I feel even fuck-off-ier
Jen Reads 50 Shades Darker:
- Chapter 1: This totally wasn't one long fanfic cut into three parts in a desperate money grab.
- Chapter 2: Kinky Fuckery
- Chapter 3: All hail King Jerkface
- Chapter 4: Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
- Chapter 5: Everything is unrealistic, because it's more dramatic that way.
- Chapter 6: Party Poopers
- Chapter 7: Nothing says romance like forced birth control
- Chapter 8: I won't participate in the plot and you can't make me!
- Chapter 9: Isn't that how Natalie Wood died?
- Chapter 10: So little conflict, so many words.
- Chapter 11: Right makes might
- Chapter 12: Piano for Dummies
- Chapter 13: My precioussss
- Chapter 14: Yes, but what about the Volturi?
- Chapter 15: 50 Shades Derper
- Chapter 16: A Treatise on Spreader Bars and Human Anatomy, with a Focus on Physics
- Chapter 17: The One About The Car
- Chapter 18: 50 Shades's Greatest Hits
- Chapter 19: 50's Greatest Hits Vol. II
- Chapter 20: I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with someone who doesn't have a helicopter or a yacht.
- Chapter 21: The shorty skirt catches the worm
- Chapter 22: Every episode of Dynasty, ever.