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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A thought about 50 Shades of Grey

A moment ago, I had a horrible epiphany.

The titular character of the 50 Shades of Grey series is a billionaire obsessed with ending world hunger.

In the time it's going to take you to read this sentence, someone will probably have died from starvation.

50 Shades has sold 40,000,000 copies, by the most recent estimation I've been able to find. The paperbacks are like $15 bucks a piece, so doesn't that make it something like $600,000,000.00 that we've spent on these books?

This is not a condemnation by the way, I'm not some raving socialist or someone who'se like, "I do nothing, yet I think you should do x," Do whatever you want with your money and for fuck's sake don't quit buying books. I'm just saying...

Our fellow human beings are starving to death, we're completely aware of this fact, and we've chosen, collectively (hell, I even bought them), to spend $600,000,000.00 on books about a  guy who is fictionally curing hunger.

If someone wrote a book about that? No one would ever buy it, it would be too unbelievable. How bleak and funny and tragically human is that?

15 comments:

  1. No, no one would buy it unless said lead character smeared fecal matter on himself while jacking off with puppets.

    I'm pretty sure the masses which ate up 50 Shades will devour that like two girls, one cup.

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  2. People almost always only spend money in exchange for a positive feeling or sensation (even donations for charity are usually made for that self-congratulatory feeling afterwards). That's why a sure-fire way to benefit the world with your writing is to produce horrible things like 50 Shades of Gray, trick everyone into giving you money for them, and then fund an organisation that strives to educate future generations to value different things.

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  3. "I'm not some raving socialist or someone who'se like, 'I do nothing, yet I think you should do x,'"

    Sigh, is this some left over cold war baggage that makes so many Americans feel like socialism is complete evil?

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    1. Socialism in America is the red-alert word the conservatives use to protest almost everything. "Hey, we have a lot of money, how about we let poor people go to the doctor?" "SOCIALISM! GO TO RUSSIA, YOU COMMUNIST!" etc. Every time someone mentions that hey, maybe we should do something good with all our wealth, some one comes from the right and accuses that person of being a socialist, and it's pretty much 100% of the time a totally ridiculous exaggeration, to the point that I can't help but make fun of those people.

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    2. I don't want to get overly political here, but the main issue I have with thinking like that is that it's forced. It's not charity if you're making people pay for something. It's also kind of against what built America up. As opulent as wealthy people can be, the rich don't stay rich by giving away and spending all their money. Take Bill Gates, he's created a wonderful charity! But you know what? He gets breaks for running it and for donating to it. Win/win in a sense. It probably winds up paying for itself that way.

      Any way, as a poor college student myself, yes I wish we had a great healthcare system for all and maybe this is a good start, I don't know. My doctor is upset that this handles nothing on the insurance end of healthcare (the business part). He's very happy more people will get care, but he's unhappy that he won't be getting any support on the ends that pay him/he has to pay.

      Every country has issues with government. You can look up a corruption rating online. It just seems like instead of fixing any other problems, this is just slapped on to try anx make it better. 'Yeah, we're totally gonna rape you with taxes and budgets out of whack! But, hey! Have some healthcare!' I can't afford it without the help of my school or parents. So, really, I'd rather be able to choose how to spend my money instead of forced to pay for something I don't even use regularly right now.

      Interesting note, though! In some midwestern-y state, a surgical practice opened up and decided to let the free market decide the prices they charge. Strangly, business is booming. They did a side by side compared to the local hospital and paying 5000 for a simple proceedure (meds included) instead of 30, 000 is working out for them.

      Maybe there's hope if just encouraged more places to run like that, instead of letting insurance companies decide prices and deny people treatment and service. The doctor knows what you need (hopefully), not the insurance company who has never seen YOU, only a file on you.

      Okay, done now. Promise. I get what you mean, though. ^.^

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  4. Oh...i wish i hadn't read this post before sleeping. I'm getting worked up. now my subconscious and inner goddess are picketting--protesting over how this "writer" is making so much money off this...this atrocity.
    The only good thing about the 50 shades really are just your recaps. And some hilarious ecards. But mostly your recaps. I hate that i'm getting so much pleasure from your suffering. Thank you thank you so much! You're such a trooper!

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  5. Out of curiosity, has E L James openly donated any of the profits from this book to charities? JK Rowling donated huge quantities of money from Harry Potter.

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    Replies
    1. Right. JK donated so much that she lost her billionaire status.

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  6. I absolutely refused to spend a dime on these books. I tried to borrow them from my only local friend who I knew had them, but she'd lent them to someone out of town. So I listened to the audiobooks free on YouTube (and gave myself 50 lashes each chapter because, well, there were ads so it probably generated some revenue, but not out of MY pocket). I just don't think the publishing house deserved my $45.

    But I did watch Emma Blackery read the first 11 chapters before switching the the audiobook and she's awesome like you, so hopefully I at least helped her. If anyone is interested in her take: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsnMI2NQWrQ.

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  7. I'm just going to leave this here for you. I'm sorry.

    http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/06/at-random-house-employees-will-enjoy-5000-shades-of-green/

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  8. Would it really hurt for James to donate some of her money to something like ending World Hunger? It would actually be a boost to her image and do something good. It's not like after the first million or so you really need the money.

    Not that she would. If only.

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    Replies
    1. I guarantee she is currently purchasing multiple upper-middle-classy cars and a ridiculously large house in a "charming" neighborhood. Forget the dude, E.L. James' real masturbatory fantasy in this book was all the money. So... mission accomplished, I guess.

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  9. http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/dec/09/el-james-fifty-shades-interview?INTCMP=SRCH

    Here she goes again. Once more the UK Guardian has published a story about unassuming E. L. James and the 'life-changing' stories from those who have read FSOG. Everything about this book and its sequels alarms me: from its impact on popular culture and the amount of young teenage girls reading it and buying into its 'message'. Now James is 'rewriting' the first novel she ever wrote. God help us all. If the world was a sensible place, she would thank her lucky stars, and live in quiet retirement off of her dubiously acquired fortune from her plagiarised novel. That way we can never hear from her again. I truly despair the world.

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  10. Potentially harrowing link from the F-Word "I married Christian Grey". I'm glad women are speaking out about how many bells this book rings for abuse survivors.

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  11. Once again, I was spending hours scrolling through TVTropes and found the perfect articles describing the problems with Ana: Character Shilling and Informed Ability.

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CharacterShilling
    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/InformedAbility

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