"Oh no! Abuela es muerte! We need to go into the underworld to save her! Can you say Underworld? SAY UNDERWORLD!"
"Who do we ask for help when we don't know which way to go? The map! Say map! LOUDER!"
"When there's a place you gotta go, I'm the one you need to know, I'm the map. If there's a place you gotta get, I can get you there I bet, I'm the map! What's my name? Say it again!
Dora and Boots need to rescue Abuela from the underworld. She'll need to go across the river Styx..."
"...past Cerberus the three-headed guard dog..."
"...and into the mouth of Hades!"
"Tell Dora: Styx, Guard Dog, Mouth of Hades! Styx, Guard Dog, Mouth of Hades! Styx, Guard Dog, Mouth of Hades!"
"Come on, vamanos! Everybody let's go! Come on, let's get to it, I know that we can do it!"
"We need to pay the boatman to cross the river Styx. I think I have something in my backpack that will help. Can you say backpack? Say it LOUDER!"
"Backpack Backpack! Backpack Backpack! Yay! Dora needs something to pay the boatman, so she can cross the river Styx! Can you see something she can use to pay the boatman?"
"Yum yum yum yum yum! Delicioso!"
"We made it all the way to Hades! Now, we just have to lead Abuela out! You have to look straight ahead and not look back! Can you look straight ahead and not look back?"
"Oh no, it's that sneaky fox, Swiper! To keep Swiper from looking back and thus condemning Abuela to the City of the Damned for all eternity, say 'Swiper, no looking back!' Swiper, no looking back! Swiper, no looking back! Swiper no--"
"Awwww man!"
"Abuela, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
THE. END.
that should not be soo funny but it is, lol .. us who have to endure tooo much Dora can defiantly enjoy this. lol thank you
ReplyDeleteCan't. Stop. Laughing.
ReplyDeleteYou should know that I love you.
A lot.
Having watched more Dora than I care to with my nieces, I feel at least a little bit of your pain. With my kids, I was forced to endure hours and hours of Bob the Builder and Dragon Tales.
Every time I have to watch Dora with my nieces, this is going to flash through my head... I can't decide if that's good or bad, actually. :D
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!! LOL!!! Wonderful Jen!
ReplyDeleteOMG-- too wonderful! My youngest ADORES Dora--and my oldest loves UCF-- finally, a place where worlds meet! lololol
ReplyDeletePoor Abuela. Death by rear-view fox.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!!
ReplyDeleteI curse you Jen... now I'll be singing all of those Dora songs all day long!!!!!
But you forgot to count the stars in spanish... uno does tres quattros... yes, i can keep going!!!!
We've moved on to the older cartoons now... Avatar the Last Airbender is huge... but at least it's funny.
Thanks for making me laugh and cry...
Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteThis was great - say Underworld!
ReplyDeleteMy granddaughter loves Dora! and Ive been hearing so much, I could hear the tune while I was reading your post. LOL
I grew up in the times before Dora the Explorer, so I'm not entirely sure who all these characters are. However:
ReplyDelete-I like Swiper's outfit :-)
-I didn't know that Dora's sidekick was named Boots. So when you said Boots, I thought you meant Dora had fibromyalgia. But then she would've been too much in pain to sing those stupid songs ;-) Unless she was high on medicinal marijuana ;-)
that made my day!
ReplyDeleteI think I love you.
ReplyDeleteNow that I have finished laughing so hard that my sides ache, I am going to go try to sleep.
I think I peed myself a little.
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh, as my daughter is watching Dora and I hear "I can't see a boat Dora, can you see a boat" just as they got to the River Styx.
ReplyDeleteI realize that this is an old post, but I stumbled upon it while reading your 50 Shades recap series (as so many have said before me, thank you for taking that bullet for us all, so that we might stay relevant and seem insightful without having to actually read the damned thing).
ReplyDeleteBut about the Dora: while under heavy childcare fire, I've invented new Dora storylines to keep the kids entertained - it's easy, because it sticks so firmly to the template - but I never imagined something as wonderful as this. My boys are far too old for Dora now, and I'm kind of considering sharing this with my eldest, who was a Dora aficionado, when he's a bit older.
Thank you for your smart, funny, thoughtful writing.
Just found this while looking at your older posts. Came for the 50 Shades recaps, stayed for the rest of the blog, and this is just too much awesome! I don't have kids yet, but when they reach the Dora stage I will be thinking of this!
ReplyDelete